Finding God Moments in the Unexpected

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with my blog.  I burnt the tip of my right pointer finger and it's really hard to type.

It's been 11 weeks of breastfeeding.  I was doing better for a while and was even able to nurse on my right side several times.  I was getting hopeful that I was going to be able to exclusively nurse Camden.  Then, a couple of days ago, it started to get really painful on both sides - toe curling painful.  I called the doctor yesterday to see if I could get some Diflucan just in case.  Then, after I nursed Cam yesterday morning, Tristan came in my room to tell us good morning.  I heard him say, "Cam spit up!  He's got his strawberry!!"  I looked and Cam had blood on the front and shoulder of his jammies.  He had also spit up blood on the bed.  So...now I am so torn.  I don't know what to do.  I've pretty much given up hope that I will ever heal.  Now the emotional roller coaster of deciding to quit or not has started. 

There is nothing more frustrating than working so hard at something only to have it completely fail despite your very best efforts.  I guess that's why it's so important that we give our lives to Jesus, living in complete submission to His will.

How many times have we tried really hard at something and it just bombed.  How many of those times were because we were walking with God and letting him guide our hard work?  Honestly, probably never.  (Although I am not in any way saying that God doesn't want me to nurse my son or that he is intentionally allowing me to suffer.)   I am saying that I definitely should have invited Him into the situation and allowed Him to work it out.  I have, to an extent, which is why I've made it this far, but I haven't submitted my will and my desires to breastfeed completely to Him.  I'm going to get off of the computer now and do that.