Time flies when you're....living life

Wow! I stumbled upon this old friend while scrolling through On This Day posts on Facebook. I had completely forgotten I ever even had a blog. It's been pretty awesome reading through the old posts, getting a little peak into the past. It's been even more amazing reading through the old prayer requests and praise reports. Man! We serve such an awesome God! It's good to have those little stones of remembrance to look back at and be reminded of God's provision and faithfulness. He is so loving and so kind.

I noticed that this isn't the first time I neglected my blog, so let me fast forward from my last post to the present. I am now a mom of 4!! Adelyn Laura joined our family on November 21, 2015. I'll have to make a separate blog post to share her story because it needs it's own post. I get emotional, in a good way, when I think back to that season. It was a time where God really showed himself strong in our lives. Adelyn is 2 years old now, and pure joy! I absolutely love being a mom to my four. It's not easy, but they are a constant reminder that God knows the desires of our hearts. And He loves us so much that He actually wants to bless us with those desires. I am no longer a part of the Thirty-One family. Life got too busy to do home parties and vendor events. But I'm still in direct sales, now with Beautycounter. It's a fantastic company paving the way to change the beauty industry by advocating for safer products. I still homeschool the older three. We are about to start the last part of our school year. Reagan is finishing up 6th grade, Tristan is finishing up 4th, and Camden is finishing 2nd. Kris is working at Lockheed-Martin as an electro-mechanical engineer. Last time I posted, he was still in school. And we went through a long season of him desperately trying to find a job. That's yet another post to share about God's goodness. It's true what they say. Time flies when you're...living life.

I've spent the last almost 24 hours by myself. It's been so quiet, something that seems foreign to me. But it's also been a great time to reflect and refocus. I've done some cleaning. I have worship music playing in the background. For the first time in I don't know how long, I feel like I can think actual thoughts and actually have the ability to complete those thoughts and maybe even do something with the thought. Action. Verbs. What do the verbs in our lives look like? What actions do our spouses, children, family, friends, and strangers see us doing? I don't know about you, but often times I say a lot of great things, but my actions don't always line up with the things that I speak. This is especially true when it comes to my family. I want to change that. This school year has been really busy for us. Good busy, but busy none the less. It's been really challenging to stay focused on our school work and responsibilities. I've dealt with feelings of self-doubt, depression, and loneliness. I think that's fairly normal for any stay-at-home mom, especially one that homeschools. (We're a unique breed for sure. I mean, who spends that much time with their kids?! It's not normal, right?) I often hear the words, "I don't know how you do it?!" Well truthfully, I don't. I fail A LOT. I'm human. I have limits. Those limits get pushed. I say things I shouldn't. I do things I shouldn't. I don't do things I should. And quite frankly I'm tired...a lot of the time. But it's in these extremely rare times of stillness that God whispers to my heart that He's here with me in the midst of the chaos and doubt and frustration. I'm where He wants me to be. He has things to teach me and show me that I've never known or seen before. And He can only do that in those moments where I'm raw and vulnerable and I have nothing to cling to but Him. It really is a beautiful thing. SO for now, I'm going to step away from the keyboard and go sit and rest in the presence of my Father. I can't do any of this on my own. I was never meant to.